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February Poems - On Love and Heartbreak

I've been exploring new ways to deal with my emotions lately. Yesterday, I tried writing poems to cope with emotions for the first time. This is what came out. 4 poems, all exploring the same feelings.
A drawing of a white woman with long flowing brown hair sitting on a red seat wearing a pink robe.
An old drawing of mine. Alexis (2).

I've been exploring new ways to deal with my emotions lately. As part of that, I've been trying to figure out how to use my creative skills to process feelings and what's going in my head.

Yesterday, I tried writing poems to cope with emotions for the first time. I didn't know what I would write when I sat down, only that I needed to put words to all of the intensity swirling within me.

This is what came out. 4 poems, all exploring the same feelings. Platonic love, platonic heartbreak, fear and desire for connection.

Enjoy.


1.

A twitching corner of the lip
Ever so lightly, slowly,
Angling up.

The lack of an expected scowl.
A traumatized perception falls
Before the presence of
The rare jewel of a smile.


2.

Fluttering as if a flock
Of paper cranes possessed my stomach.
I step no further
Than the reaches of my stolen luck
Allow my heart to race.

You look as if the sun itself
Had woven threads of glitter from its rays
To drop upon your eyes
Before I ever had the chance to place
The love that stuck.


3.

A drop of beer on the forest floor
Falls between the shuffling of our feet
As we rush to the flame once more
Sticking out our cuts of meat.

The pines watch over us like giants
Containing secrets of the crowds
Who left their scorch marks in defiance
Of safety rules beneath the clouds.

I dream that I’m a child again
Racing my sister to the creek.
And when I look at eyes of men
Who seem to hug me as they speak.

I talk at them and hear my father
Counting the dandelions in June.
Who somehow always wished to bother
To braid my hair and sing a tune.

I hear praise and think of mushrooms
That hide beneath the trees.
My father never made up rules
But always stopped to feel the breeze.

I wonder why I chase perfection
When “perfect” meant a sunny smile.
There’s nothing better than affection
That promises you are worthwhile.


4.

My love for you has felt like silence -
Or maybe whispers on a sunny day.
The glance of strangers filled with violence
For lives they never led astray.

I followed rules because I had to
At least my brain had told me that.
A compromise required to help two
Get closer every time they chat.

I wished my face would wrinkle
Resembling yours and lines of age
Would let you recognize the twinkle
Of your eyes staring back with rage.

I loved the chances that you gave me
I hated all the luck you took.
As if you weren’t the man who’d claim he
Taught all his lessons in a book.

You sign those autographs like curses.
You say hello as if you’ve died.
Sincerity fails when one rehearses
And any feeling gets denied.